


the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places

by O Lord Heal This OAbsalom (OAbsalom)



Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, Magic, Magician Aziraphale (Good Omens), Non-Explicit Sex, Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24750319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OAbsalom/pseuds/O%20Lord%20Heal%20This%20OAbsalom
Summary: Crowley was moaning. Crowley was whining. Crowley was... Wait, what did the angel just pant out behind him?"Wha--ah, ahh-- what?""I s--said, I've been practicing the coin trick."(Wherein Aziraphale brings his magic act to the bedroom.)(OLHT[D]S crackfic)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733320
Comments: 41
Kudos: 41
Collections: The Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies of OLHTS





	the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [**Not-So-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies**](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/OLHTCrack) wherein O Lord Heal This (Discord) Server gets together with a terrible, ungodly crack prompt and writes our best worst fic in 300 words or less, average word count 1.5k. 
> 
> Thank you, my dearest [Veevethan (vol_ctrl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl) for all of your amazing work putting this monstrosity of an event together, keeping everyone on track, and delegating like a boss.
> 
> This week's prompt: "Aziraphale's Magic Act"

Crowley was moaning. Crowley was _whining_. Crowley was... Wait, _what_ did the angel just pant out behind him?

"Wha-- _ah, ahh_ \-- what?"

"I s--said, I've been practicing the coin trick."

Crowley sighed and let his face drop into the pillow. Sure, it had been where this conversation _started_ , but it clearly wasn't where it had ended. He'd worked hard to play it down and even redirect; he wasn't going to let this knock him off pace. He lifted his head and looked back over his shoulder.

" _Still?_ Now is the time you want to talk about this? Focus on filling me up right now, and we'll continue to talk about you giving a middle finger to miracles later, Angel."

For some strange reason, that's basically all it took. Aziraphale's nails dug into the demon's arse, and he grunted his way through an orgasm. Crowley was pleased to have been of service, regardless.

Crowley spent the next hour meandering about the house while Aziraphale made some sort of treat or another for the two of them. It was like a post-sex ritual for him, a treat on top of a treat. All the while Crowley had the oddest impression he was _missing_ something. His own post-sex ritual. Something wasn't altogether the norm. It wasn't until Aziraphale dabbed ever-so-politely at the corner of his mouth with a napkin that it hit him.

"Aziraphale!"

The angel slid casual, uninterested eyes to meet Crowley's accusatory tone.

"Did you _fake_ an orgasm with me, Angel?"

"I most certainly did not, my dear. Why ever would you imagine that?"

"Wh-I just," he gestured down at his pelvis. "You know. Things need cleaning up. Leaking and all that. Normally there's _leaking_ if you've actually done anything."

Aziraphale cocked an eyebrow at his lover, then leaned over with wide eyes and an exaggeratedly inquisitive look at the side of his head.

"Oh my, young man! What's that in your ear?"

Crowley's mouth dropped open, and he felt a warm, wet trickle begin to slide down his neck.

**Author's Note:**

> And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.  
> \- Roald Dahl


End file.
